Alone time is GOOD!

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”  ~Henry David Thoreau.

My weekly ‘How To’ post takes on ‘Aloneness’ this week.  After my week in the hills near Temecula, California, I have a new respect for what being alone can do to help you feel happy.  I want to share what I have learned here and encourage you to take some daily alone time.  Share your thoughts below!

Why is Alone Time important?

Most of us don’t take enough time for ourselves.  Our culture values doing.  “What did you today?” “What are you doing tomorrow?” “What do you do?”  It is easy to feel guilty, lazy, or selfish for taking time for yourself.  Our culture is only now starting to understand the importance of not doing, of taking time for yourself.  In fact, ‘not doing’ is probably one of the most important things you can ‘do!’  It is important to take care of yourself and give yourself what you need, so that you can continue to give your most loving and happy self to those you love and the work you do.

“Being with other people for long periods of time, no matter how loving, wonderful and interesting they may be, interferes with one’s biopsychological rhythm,” says T. Byram Karasu, M.D., a psychiatrist whom wrote the Art of Serenity.  

Tips for Taking Alone Time.

1. Emphasize the Importance of Solitude Daily.  The hardest part for taking alone time is remembering how important it is for me.  As soon as I take some time, my brain starts listing all the things I must do.  My brain tells me how much of a waste of time this is.  Don’t listen!  It helps to read some positive literature beforehand.  

Some suggestions: Zen Habits is a great blog or check out Create Our World!

2.  Make a Routine.  Get in a habit everyday of taking at least 5 minutes every day.  Once you make alone time a habit, it is much easier to feel the benefits of it.  You will start to miss it!  

Some suggestions:  Walk slowly to and from your car.  Stop at points in your day and just be still and breath for 1 minute.  Take longer in the bathroom.  Use your commute to work as your relaxation time, listen to a good cd, an audiobook you love, or just use the time for silence.

3.  Get Help!  Talk to your mate, or your co-workers, or your friends and get help with getting your alone time.  Return the favor, as well!  Get your husband to watch the kids for a half hour.  Get your co-workers to cover you for 15 minutes while you take a coffee break.  Get your friends to check up on you, whether you have taken your alone time for the day.

 Some suggestions:  Have your wife/husband watch the kids when you take an extra long bath or nap.  Go grocery shopping and relax.  Take a daily walk around the block or in the local park.

4.  Get Creative.  Everyone has a different schedule and has different personal needs.  Some of us need large chunks of alone time, while for others shorter periods of alone time works the best.  Figure out what your personal needs are and align your schedule accordingly.

5.  Make Your Alone Time Worth It.  Enjoying alone time can be tough for some. Make sure to enjoy your time when you get it, even if the time is short. Recognize what energizes you and do it.  Not all alone time is created equal.  

Here are some suggestions to enjoying your alone time more:  Make a list of what you WANT to do, for YOU.  Turn off all of your electronic devices; cell phone, computer, television, even the refridgerator to experience some real silence.  Do what you love!

“Solitude puts the individual in touch with his or her deepest feelings and allows time for previously unrelated thoughts and feelings to interact, to regroup themselves into new formations and combinations, and thus to bring harmony to the mind,” – Karasu

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Are you an alone time expert?  Please give your suggestions for others by leaving a comment.

Please share this article with others, whom you think would enjoy this post and need some alone time, by clicking the share button at the bottom of this post.

Create Our World.

Ben.

“I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits, unless I spend four hours a day at least – and it is commonly more than that – sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields, absolutely free from all worldly engagements.”  ~Henry David Thoreau

Charlotte and Dolly.

“Today give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” – Quoted in ‘P.S. I Love You’ compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Meet Charlotte & Dolly.

As soon as I got back to town, I treated myself.  I got a small cup of cappuccino and a donut.  Vista Donut was in Old Town Murrieta, a small town in California.  Mmmmmm… donut.

As I ate, Charlotte said hello.  Her son, Greg has climbed mountains all over the world.  She noticed my backpack and she wondered about my travels.  She offers me a ride and I accept.  (Although I am only going about 5 blocks away to the local library.)

Ladies Day Out.

Charlotte is from California.  She likes hiking and has hiked the Great Dome ( I think it is called).  She lives in a senior citizen community with her friend, Dolly.  Today they are on a ladies day out.  

Dolly is from Michigan, near where I am from.  But she has lived in California for over 50 years.

After we finish our coffee’s and donut, Charlotte, Dolly, and I pile in her car and drive 3 blocks to the fruit market.  Fruit is cheap here.  Charlotte buys me a banana for my travels.  

She drops me off about 2 blocks later at the library and gives me her address, phone number, and 3 big hugs.  “Just in case I need anything.”

Create Our World.

Ben

“What this world needs is a new kind of army – the army of the kind.” – Cleveland Amory

43 Avocados.

“When planning for a year, plant corn.  When planning for a decade, plant trees.  When planning for a life, train and educate people.” -Chinese Proverb

Are You Collecting Avocado’s?

Before I had went to the ‘wilderness’ I stocked up on some food.  Today, I feel like doing some math.  I loved math when I was younger, not so much anymore, but this was fun.  The point of this is to show you the amount of calories of food I had when I was up on my little mountain. The mistake I made.  This will then lead into my point about whether you are collecting avocados or not.  Stick with me if you like details or skip to the end for the message (it is in BOLD).  Here is the food I brought with the amount of calories, that I hope to last for two weeks:

1. Carnation Instant Breakfast Essentials powder drink. Rich Milk Chocolate Flavor. 14 servings x 130 calories per serving = 1520 Total Calories

2. Chunky Peanut Butter. 16 servings x 210 Calories/serving = 3360 Calories

3.  Welch’s Concord Grape Jelly. Reduced Sugar. 31 Servings x 20 Cals/serv = 320 Calories

4.  A Loaf of Nature’s Own Whole Wheat Bread. 22 slices x 50 cals/slice = 1100 Calories

5.  Quaker Oats Granola Bars. 10 Bars x 100 Cals/bar = 1000 Calories

6. Trail Mix. 4 servings x 150 Cals/serv = 600 Calories

7.  2 Packs of Instant Oatmeal. Apple Cinnamon Flavor. 2 servings x 160 calories = 320 Calories

8. Bag of Bolthouse Farms Carrots. 2lbs. 12 carrots x 30 calories = 360 Calories

That is a total of 8220 Calories.  I was planning on being gone for 14 days.  That’s 587 Calories a day.  According to Hpathy, I need 2203 Calories needed per day to maintain my current weight.  (Hpathy is an online calculator that takes my gender, age, weight, height, and how active I am and spits out how many calories I need to maintain my weight.  I plug in Male, 29, 140, 68 inches, and low activity because I will be sitting a lot, but will have to hike to get places).  

I didn’t have the calculator with me when I was out there, but I knew by my shrinking sack of food and hungry belly that I would be running out.  So I collected some:

9. Oranges from a nearby tree (AWESOME! by the way). 11 oranges x 60 calories/orange = 660 calories

This brings me up to 8880 Calories. 634 Calories per day.

Problem… Solution?

I realize I am not going to make it.  I try to make my food last, but I like to eat.  At about 4 days, I was eating a peanut butter sandwich a day.  Not enough.  BUT, below my mountain hideaway are Avocado Farms!  Ben, a pool cleaning man, I had hitched with to get to Temecula, had told me that Avocados were a fruit you could live off solely.  BINGO!

On the fifth day, I hiked down and collect 43 avocados from the ground of a farm.  I thought I was in there.  

1 avocado has about 322 calories! 43 avocados x 322 cals/avocado = 13846 Calories. 

13846 Cals + 8880 Cals = 22726 calories total. 1623 calories per day.  

Not 2203 calories, but close & I figured I could always climb down for more.  

The Lesson of Avocado’s.

On the eighth day away, I had to return to town, because I was out of food.  The problem: All 43 of my avocado’s were not ripe (I ate two that were raw… not good).  Avocado’s take time to ripen (they are ripe now and I have been eating the 13 that I saved and brought down the mountain).

The point: Be wary of putting your dreams in the hopes of your avocados ripening.  Or your current job providing security for you for the rest of your life.  Or your 401k providing you retirement in your golden years.  

A recent article by Chris Anderson, in the magazine WIRED, The New Industrial Revolution, discusses how the future of manufacturing and business is small Do-It-Yourself-er’s whom can meet the needs of a tiny niche of people.  The technology now exists to make small quantities of products affordably.  And it will only continue to get more affordable, opening the gateways for anyone to start a small business.  

The additional point:  There is a lot of opportunity for single individuals and small businesses with a small initial investment to pursue something they are passionate about and make a living doing it.  

What are your thoughts?

Create Our World.

Ben

“…If you are successful, you will win some false friends, and some true enemies: BE SUCCESSFUL ANYWAY…” – Mother Teresa