Create Our World

 

Alone time is GOOD!

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”  ~Henry David Thoreau.

My weekly ‘How To’ post takes on ‘Aloneness’ this week.  After my week in the hills near Temecula, California, I have a new respect for what being alone can do to help you feel happy.  I want to share what I have learned here and encourage you to take some daily alone time.  Share your thoughts below!

Why is Alone Time important?

Most of us don’t take enough time for ourselves.  Our culture values doing.  “What did you today?” “What are you doing tomorrow?” “What do you do?”  It is easy to feel guilty, lazy, or selfish for taking time for yourself.  Our culture is only now starting to understand the importance of not doing, of taking time for yourself.  In fact, ‘not doing’ is probably one of the most important things you can ‘do!’  It is important to take care of yourself and give yourself what you need, so that you can continue to give your most loving and happy self to those you love and the work you do.

“Being with other people for long periods of time, no matter how loving, wonderful and interesting they may be, interferes with one’s biopsychological rhythm,” says T. Byram Karasu, M.D., a psychiatrist whom wrote the Art of Serenity.  

Tips for Taking Alone Time.

1. Emphasize the Importance of Solitude Daily.  The hardest part for taking alone time is remembering how important it is for me.  As soon as I take some time, my brain starts listing all the things I must do.  My brain tells me how much of a waste of time this is.  Don’t listen!  It helps to read some positive literature beforehand.  

Some suggestions: Zen Habits is a great blog or check out Create Our World!

2.  Make a Routine.  Get in a habit everyday of taking at least 5 minutes every day.  Once you make alone time a habit, it is much easier to feel the benefits of it.  You will start to miss it!  

Some suggestions:  Walk slowly to and from your car.  Stop at points in your day and just be still and breath for 1 minute.  Take longer in the bathroom.  Use your commute to work as your relaxation time, listen to a good cd, an audiobook you love, or just use the time for silence.

3.  Get Help!  Talk to your mate, or your co-workers, or your friends and get help with getting your alone time.  Return the favor, as well!  Get your husband to watch the kids for a half hour.  Get your co-workers to cover you for 15 minutes while you take a coffee break.  Get your friends to check up on you, whether you have taken your alone time for the day.

 Some suggestions:  Have your wife/husband watch the kids when you take an extra long bath or nap.  Go grocery shopping and relax.  Take a daily walk around the block or in the local park.

4.  Get Creative.  Everyone has a different schedule and has different personal needs.  Some of us need large chunks of alone time, while for others shorter periods of alone time works the best.  Figure out what your personal needs are and align your schedule accordingly.

5.  Make Your Alone Time Worth It.  Enjoying alone time can be tough for some. Make sure to enjoy your time when you get it, even if the time is short. Recognize what energizes you and do it.  Not all alone time is created equal.  

Here are some suggestions to enjoying your alone time more:  Make a list of what you WANT to do, for YOU.  Turn off all of your electronic devices; cell phone, computer, television, even the refridgerator to experience some real silence.  Do what you love!

“Solitude puts the individual in touch with his or her deepest feelings and allows time for previously unrelated thoughts and feelings to interact, to regroup themselves into new formations and combinations, and thus to bring harmony to the mind,” – Karasu

***

Are you an alone time expert?  Please give your suggestions for others by leaving a comment.

Please share this article with others, whom you think would enjoy this post and need some alone time, by clicking the share button at the bottom of this post.

Create Our World.

Ben.

“I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits, unless I spend four hours a day at least – and it is commonly more than that – sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields, absolutely free from all worldly engagements.”  ~Henry David Thoreau

My Nana's Couch in New Jersey. I slept here for 3 weeks.

“The best gift is the gift of yourself to another.” – Unknown

This post is part of my weekly series about how to hitchhike, hobo, couchsurf, and cheaply travel around the USA.  If you have suggestions for an article, please let me know.

Today’s post is about how to be the Best Houseguest your host has ever had.  I am a good houseguest. Sometimes, a great one.  I am not perfect, but I always aspire to be the best houseguest ever.  To leave my new friends better than I have found them.  Here is what I have learned from my experience and from researching the topic extensively. The best article I found was by a much different blog than mine, but well written and beautiful.  GalaDarling.com. Here is link to Gala’s article on being the best houseguest.

Erin, Sarah, and Amy in New Orleans. I had planned to spend a night, but ended up staying a week and a half.

 How to be the Best Houseguest Ever.

1. We Communicate Openly, Promptly, Honestly, and Considerately.

As the best houseguest ever, it is our responsibility to gather as much information as possible about our host.  We need to figure out what will make our stay with them as enjoyable as possible.  To do this, we must talk.  Communicate!  We must be willing to ask questions on the spot and be okay with awkwardness.  In fact, the best houseguest ever does not let awkwardness get their way.  We dive into awkwardness like a sparkling pool.  We bring up the topics that must be talked about.

A. Determine arrival times and departure dates.

 We blow in the wind.  We don’t plan our time to get there or when we will leave, because we trust every moment and don’t want to miss one.  BUT OUR HOST PROBABLY CAN’T DO THIS.  So we adapt.  Our hosts have bosses, relationships, schedules, engagements, and we must adapt to them.  This requires lots of communication.  Before I arrive, I usually try to give my host a heads up as far in advance as I know.  Then as I get closer to wherever they are, I give as many updates as I can.  As the best houseguest ever, we direct the flow of open communication.  We take this on as our responsibility.

It is the same for planning our departure.  We just don’t know… Maybe tomorrow, we will know it is our time to move on and maybe next month.  We must take responsibility to start the conversation and direct it for our entire stay.  We never stay too long.  We are capable of living anywhere so we can live whenever we determine it is best for everyone.  Remember, your host may be tentative to kick you out or tell you they are uncomfortable.  It is our job as the best houseguest ever to always be aware of our hosts needs and wants.  

B. Ask the House Rules.

When you meet your new host, ask lots of questions.  Everyone does things differently.  Figure out how your host lives and adapt.  We want to be a positive addition to their life and not a drag or weight.  If they take off their shoes, we take off our shoes.  If they wash dishes right after they eat, we wash dishes right after we eat.  If they break dance during every commercial, guess what, start spinning baby.

C. Turn Negative Host Energy around.

No matter how much you try, your host may have get annoyed or irritated.  It is our job to address this.  Remember, it could not be us though.  It could be their job, girlfriend, boyfriend, the weather… who knows, so communicate.  Ask questions about how we can resolve the situation.  If it is us, then we must listen.  Take feedback and be thankful they are giving it.  It is hard to talk about potential disagreements, especially among friends.  It is our job as the best houseguest ever to initiate and facilitate these interactions.

Julianne in Greenville, NC. I stayed on Julianne's couch for three nights.

 2. Do the Little Things!

We will always do the little things to make our interactions more pleasant.  This is how we will distinguish ourselves as the best houseguest ever.    We strive to be a warm glow in our host’s air.  We are a pleasant smell that people don’t realize how much they love.  We are the sunshine coming through the window.  We are there but not always, and everything is always better when we are around.  We are willing to do hourly acts to show our consideration and gratefulness.  We are never dishonest or inconsiderate.  We always act as if the whole world is watching us.

*Always ask to help in the kitchen.

*Clean up any mess you make.

*Ask if anyone is going to use the bathroom before you shower.

*”Make your bed” or put your sleeping stuff away.

*Offer to chip in for food.

*Don’t drink their juice, soda, beer, or wine without asking.

*Never assume anything is yours to use.

*Bring your own toiletries.

*Clean the bathroom after every use.

*Don’t take too long showers.

*Be aware of how loud you are.

*Don’t expect rides.

*We give hugs when applicable.  A good hug too.

*We don’t grab that piece of day old pizza that no one will miss.

***Add your tip in the comment section****

Eric, Dan, Jamie, and Dylan in Oneonta, NY. I met these guys at a pizza place and stayed for a week on their porch.

 3.  We Balance Our Time.

We are attentive and are willing to go way out of our way for our host.  But we also are independent and know how to make ourselves happy.  Remember again, we must balance our time based on our host.  Each host has different needs.  Some will want to hang with us all the time and others will want a lot of alone time.  As the best houseguest ever, we must determine what the balance is for each host.  One tip is to imitate our host.  Watch them and do as they do.  If they are very social, they we must be very social.  If they go to bed early, so do we.  

But it is key that our hosts do not feel overly responsible for us.  Therefore, we usually take some time away during the day.  We give the host space in their home without us.  We sometimes plan our own events at night, if we feel our host would like to do their own thing.  We are cool to hang by ourselves or do what we want to do.  We do not NEED our hosts.  We appreciate their company and are grateful.  But we could leave at any minute, with no regrets.  We are a universe unto ourselves!

Me & Sarah in Richmond, VA. I stayed with her for almost a week on her pull out couch.

 4. Invest in the Relationship of your Host & their Roommates!

As the best houseguest ever, we are not here just for a place to crash.  If you are staying with someone and have your own agenda, then you are not the best houseguest.  In fact, you are not even a good houseguest.  You are a mouche.  

We are hear to depend our relationship with our host & THEIR ROOMMATES.  We are here to give to our host.  We are here to bond with our host and make new friends.  We are here to give these people love.  We are here to give ourselves to our host, whether they are a friend, whom we are reconnecting with or someone we have just met.  Also, we must do this with their roommates as well.  Don’t forget them!  We didn’t ask for them or choose them, but they are just as important as our host.  We believe that everyone whom enters our life is there for a reason and we treat them as such.  We are here to improve our relationships with everyone we meet. 

BUT! HERE IS THE KEY!!!!  The best houseguest ever does not have to fake this.  The best houseguest genuinely loves and cares for his hosts.  We are excited to be friends with them and we are grateful for what they bring to our life.  We are willing and ready to do what we can to improve their lives.

The best houseguest ever gets excited about our hosts lives.  We ask our hosts about their day.  We slap fives, if they get a date.  We compliment our hosts when we they rock.   We tell our hosts the good things we think about them, as they happen.  We share when we are having a great time.  We share ourselves with our hosts.   We are grateful.  We don’t just say Thank You, we actually feel grateful.  We feel it and we express it.  And we listen.  We Listen!!! 

The Dixie Ranch in Austin, TX. I crashed in the VW Van there and on the couch for almost a month.

 5. We Go Over & Above!!!

“It’s a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.” – Roberto Benigni

Leave your guests with a gift.  We don’t have much money.  We also realize that money is an uncreative gift.  As the best houseguest ever, we strive to give of ourselves to our host.  I am a photographer, so I like to leave my host’s with a homemade postcard or photograph.  Or I get my host’s address and send them one from another part of the country.  What are your unique skills?  Are you a great baker? Then bake.  Are a good joke teller?  Tell some jokes.  Are you good with computers? I’m not, so I can’t think of anything you could give there, but you know, because you are good with them!

The point is that we are giving them something that is very special.  We are giving our host something that they could get no where else.  We are giving a true gift to our host.  Something that we thought of and tailored specifically to what we thought they would enjoy or add to their life.  Be creative the possibilities are endless.

Sahar and Hope in East Lansing, MI. I stayed on Sahar's couch for only one night, but have met up with Hope in Grand Haven, MI, New Orleans, LA, and San Diego, CA.

 6. The Stay Does Not End When We Leave.

Keep in touch!  As the best houseguest ever, we continue to give to our new or old friends.  Don’t end your interaction now that we have parted ways.  Keep it up!  If we have been the best houseguest ever, we will have a better friendship with our host than before.  We care about this!  And we will continue to nurture this relationship.  I like to send my friends photographs from my travels, digitally.  It is free, yet thoughtful.  I also try to send my friends as many personal message as I can.  This will be tough if you are the best houseguest ever, because you will now have lots of friends all over. But we recognize that it is worth it and continue to do so and love to do so as well.  This is why we live!

Ultimately, being the best houseguest ever is a way of life.  It is about sincerity, giving, and making genuine loving relationships with all you meet.  Eventually being the best houseguest becomes a way of life that goes everywhere with you.

***

Jessie and Leah in Portland, Maine. I surfed their couch for a week.

 Are you the Best Houseguest Ever? Or at least a darn good one?  Or do you have tips that I neglected to mention.   Please share your wisdom with others here, by commenting on this article.

Have came into contact with the WORST HOUSEGUEST EVER? Please share what not to do as well.

Share this article with others whom would find this article interesting.  Pass along the goodness of people, by clicking the button below that says SHARE.  Share!

Create Our World.

Ben

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” – Kahil Gibran

Make the Best Lemonade Stand Ever.

“Kindness to yourself and to others comes from a desire to support your own highest good and the highest good of others.  When your highest priority is to support the highest good of all, you are naturally kind.  You don’t even have to think about it.  It flows easily when your deepest desire is to be a loving, caring person.” – From the Symphony of Love, “The Power of Kindness in Relationships.”

My friend, Dave and I recently set up a lemonade stand on a beach near San Diego.  With an 18$ initial investment, we made some new friends, inspired many a smile, quenched some thirsts, and ended up losing only 8$.  It was tons of fun!

I wanted to share what I learned from that experience and also from doing some research on the lemonade stand subject, so that others could duplicate the experience wherever you may be.  Spread some love, lemonade style!

If you like the article, please share it with your friends and follow Benjamin in his hitchhiking travels around the USA sharing stories of the Goodness of People.

How to Run the Best Lemonade Stand Ever.

First off, I need to clarify the definition of “Best Lemonade Stand Ever.”  The best lemonade stand ever does not necessarily make the owner the most money.  The best lemonade stand ever makes the shares the most happiness, love, and wisdom ever.  You money grubbers can read this article from Sunkist, which shows you how to make a serious profit.

For those that want to have fun and get others to have fun, then this article is for you.

Three Keys to running the Best Lemonade Stand Ever: Spreading Love thru Lemonade.

A. Quality Lemonade!

B. A Location with a lot of thirsty and friendly people!

C. Personal Pizzazz and Charm!

Step By Step to Running the Best Lemonade Stand Ever.

1. Get Your Supplies.

 Make sure to buy quality ingredients.  You can use a mix or fresh lemons, but it is important to buy good sugar, mix, and lemons.  My friend, Dave and I decided to make lemonade from a mix.  We bought the Kool-aid brand, but also mixed in the cheaper version.  We bought 6 lemons to add a slice to each drink.  We also bought RAW Sugar.  Quality ingredients are key to the best lemonade stand ever.  

Here is what you need:

*Table.

*At least two signs.

*Chairs.

*Pitcher.

*An extra jug or pitcher to have a back up ready when the first pitcher runs out.

*Cooler.

*Ice.

*Lemons.

*Water.

*Lemonade Mix.

*Sugar.

*Spoon to stir.

*Your Personal Pizzazz!

2.  Make the Lemonade ahead of time.

Make the lemonade at home, before you head out.  Make a few gallons and store in extra jugs.  Anything will work as long as it is clean.  Keep the lemonade chilled and fresh!!

3. Make Eye Catching Signs.

Coverage.  Simplicity.  Powness!  You want more than one sign so that your signs can face different directions.  So people driving by and walking by from all directions can see your signs and be drawn in.  Make the signs simple, yet beautiful.  Use large letters and different colors.  Draw an eye catching lemon or big glass of lemonade on there too.

4.  Location, Location, Location!

This is the second most important factor in your successful lemonade stand.  Be sure to check legality laws in your neighborhood, before you set up shop.  Then, choose a location that will have lots of thirsty and friendly people walking past.    Your front lawn is the most convenient, but other suggestions are a nearby crowded beach, a little league game, a park, or near a parade.  

5. Set Up Shop.

Be Clean, Be Clean, Be Clean!  Set up near the stream of people, but not in everyone’s way.  Set up your table and chairs so you are comfortable.  Make sure your table is neat, clean, and well arranged.  Set up your signs nearby so folks can see them.  Keep your cooler under your table to refill, which is stocked with quality, chilled lemonade.  

6.  Pay What It’s Worth.

Let the customers decide! A new business model is becoming more and more popular in the digital world, is the Pay What You Think It’s Worth model.  Instead of setting a price, let your customers decide how much they think it is worth.  We had a man pay 5$ for a glass and some little kids only had quarters.  The goal again is not to make the most money from our lemonade stand, but to get as many people a good glass of lemonade and spread some happiness and love.

7.  Add a Twist to Your Stand!

Do something different!  Be Unique!  Dave and I decide to give out a free fortune with every cup of lemonade.  One of us would come up with a personalized fortune on the spot to every customer.  Fortunes like, “You would look good in a handle bar mustache,” were given to a little dude.  The point was to make people smile and leave our stand feeling better than when they came.

I would say in this field, play to your strengths.  Other options are to add other goods to your stand, like cookies or another beverage like tea.  If you can draw, you can add in a quick portrait drawn on the spot.  Let your imagination roam!

8.  Smile, Compliment, and Beam Love!

Say hello to everyone that passes!  Offer them lemonade! Compliment them on their choice of clothing. Strike up conversations with anyone that comes in to check out your goods.  Make everyone feel happier as they leave your stand, whether they get lemonade or not.  Be the people that others happily tell their friends about later that day.  

9.  Give out at least one free cup an hour!

Give because it feels so dang good!  One cup an hour is nothing off your back, but could really make someone’s day.  DO NOT GIVE THIS CUP TO A CUTE GIRL OR BOY! No flirty giveaways!  Give this cup to someone whom it would really brighten their day, like an older person whom is struggling to walk around or a teeny little person whom a glass of lemonade would be like gold.  Give a cup to someone whom can’t afford it, but looks thirsty!  

10.  Leave the area better than you found it.

When you are cleaning up, make sure to pick up any trash you have left, including organic items like lemon peels.  Also, as a general practice, clean up the area a little if you can.  It will make others want to have you return!

***

If you have tips, advice, lemonade stand stories, lemonade recipes, tips for creative additions to a stand, or just a word of wisdom, please share it with the other readers of Create Our World by commenting!

If you do set up a lemonade stand, please tell me how it goes, I may share the story with others here on Create Our World.

Or if you have an idea for a how to post, please share! I am always looking for suggestions!  

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Create Our World.

Ben

“Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.” – Mother Teresa